Danya Ensing is a 19-year-old student at the Ontario College of Art and Design in Toronto, and a Feministing reader. Last week, she posted this video over on the Community blog, and I thought it was so great that I wanted all our readers to watch it.

Danya didn’t realize she was a feminist until a few years ago, but once she did, she started seeing gender everywhere. “What got me really interested in feminism was the way I felt as a single, young woman when I moved to Toronto. I noticed in a big city the way that men looked at women (myself included) on the street, the comments that were sometimes made, and overall the way that I, as a female, was told to conduct my daily life (don’t go out past a certain hour, don’t walk alone, look people in the eye, etc).” Now, Danya explores feminist ideas and the representation of women’s bodies in her art and photography.

A little while ago, Danya had a few things to say about the emphasis that our culture places on romantic relationships for women. Specifically, she objects to the way that people try to comfort someone who’s just gone through a break-up, which is usually by reassuring them that they’ll surely find someone else and that will make everything alright. The assumption that a long-term relationship will happen and will bring happiness, Danya argues, ties those two things together, setting us all up for failure.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, even the staunchest feminist can start to feel crappy if they’re single. But, Danya reminds us, “there’s something so valuable about not being in a relationship and not having to put the effort into a relationship, because you have so much time to invest in other people and to love people around you like your family, and your friends, and people in the world.”

If you are single this Valentine’s Day, and resist the culturally-mandated misery. “Why not,” Danya suggests, “work through improving yourself and getting yourself to a place where you’re really proud and confident of yourself instead of finding that confidence in someone else? Because if you have the mentality that eventually you will meet someone else and be happy, on some level you are filling and insecure void in yourself with someone else.”

Word, Danya.

Full transcript below the jump.
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